What a year 2009 was for us! What a year it was for me!
I experienced every possible emotion, had to learn a few hard lessons and I was blessed in so many ways. I am able to say that I have experienced the best day of my life, hands down. I have grown not only as an individual, but as a part of a unit. I have been pushed to my emotional limits and have learned that I can push my physical limits further than I ever imagined.... I still don't think I know the full potential of those physical limits.
I have learned, sometimes the hard way, the importance of faith. Faith in God, faith in family and faith in friends. I've learned that sometimes you just need to "let go." I decided to surround myself and my family with positive energy in every way. I started to pay even closer attention to how I treat others and how to live a life I'm proud of. To encompass the traits that I believe so strongly in: acceptance, love, kindness, compassion.
I want so much for this new, beautiful year! I want to learn as much as I can... An idle mind is the devils playground. I want to work towards my dream of helping other women bring their babies into this world... to be able to help educate society on what a truly amazing miracle creating and birthing a baby is. I want to teach my son how to help other people... you're never too young to understand that. I know most people have dreams of their children making a difference, but I want to help nurture that dream until it becomes reality.
I think forward on the year ahead and wonder what life will look like this time NEXT year! Max is already growing so fast. He has two teeth now, his bottom front (be careful what you wish for... we asked Santa for chompers... two days after Christmas, the first one arrived!) He is "creeping" now, which is the step before crawling. He rolls and pushes himself EVERYWHERE. He is talking up a storm... saying Mama with fervor now! I just can't believe how fast it's going by... I'm already missing my little baby. He's growing into a little boy!
Watching him change from day to day makes me think of his future, constantly. I want to cultivate his dreams. I want him to know that he can do whatever he wants to do, he just has to work hard! I want him to give back to others that aren't as blessed as he is, regardless of his situation. I'm hoping that this next holiday season, we can take him down to serve meals to the homeless, or maybe we can help him pick a few of his own blankets to take down to the needy. We might not have much right now, but we still have so much more than so many others. I want him to realize the importance of helping your fellow man... even if it seems that you don't have enough to help yourself.
I have so many (possibly very lofty) ideas and dreams. It took for me to have a child of my own to realize just how important those dreams are. I don't think you're ever too old to work towards making your dreams a reality! I intend on working towards my own, while I continue to help my husband and son work towards theirs. I know that I can make a difference... it's just going to take some perseverence.
I want this year to be full of love and joy for everyone in my life! My wishes are that we all realize what's truly important... Our faith, our families, our health and our happiness. All that other stuff is just icing.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, December 4, 2009
Where does the time go?
I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated our blog! I guess because I don't visit it daily, it's easy to forget about... And it's hard to find time to post!
Max is now 4 months old! He is just the funnest little boy in the world and I love spending my days with him. He brings so much joy into our lives and it's so entertaining watching him learn and grow! I have so much to bring up to speed here...
He's been rolling over from his tummy to his back since he was about 2.5 months old... he HATED tummy time! So, it didn't surprise me that he figured that one out as quickly as possible! He started doing it from his back to his tummy at about 3.5 months... and now he's seriously dangerous! He's so quick... if I turn my back for one second, he's flipped onto his tummy. The really dangerous part? He's silent. Lucky for us, his changing table has nice tall rails on each side, but now he's even throwing he legs over the side... like he just can't wait to jump down and run after the dogs! Danger! Danger!
He has started solid foods... although, I'm sure he's been thoroughly disappointed that the rice cereal doesn't taste like cookies. His doc has given us the go ahead to start feeding him solids more frequently and to add more variety! So, I'm sure we'll have some funny pictures to come!
He is laughing up a storm! He really is such a different baby... He's SO happy! Most of the time, anyway... He's always smiling and it's getting easier and easier to get him to have a giggle fit! We got him going last night and it was so adorable... You just can't help but laugh yourself when you hear a baby giggle like that! It's probably my favorite sound in the world.... Baby giggles.
He occasionally drinks out of a sippy cup... He's been reaching for our drinking glasses for the last month and taking sips out of our water, so I decided to get him a little cup of his own! He pretty much likes to chew on it (I'm sure he's teething) but he's starting to figure it out.
He loves doing things on his own. He's just so independent in that way... you can see the wheels moving when he's working on something. He knows what he wants, but he just doesn't have the motor skills figured out all the way yet.
Had his four month appointment a few days ago and he's growing so fast! 14 lbs 7 oz. 25 inches long... His weight isn't going up like they expect it to, but they think it's mostly because he's so active. He's still thriving and developing ahead of schedule! The doctor couldn't believe him... he was rolling all over her table and he is always wanting to stand... she thinks he's burning all his calories away. So, we're going to be feeding him even more and she thinks that adding more solids will help.
The holidays are well underway! It's been so fun to get Max out there experiencing all the things we love! We went to get his first Christmas tree last weekend... we cut our own down. James actually went up into the mountains and brought one home, but it wasn't quite what either one of us wanted. So, we just went to a farm and cut our own. We're getting all decorated and going to my hometown's "Winterfest" tonight... we'll go see the town tree lighting and Santa's arrival. I think the last time I did this was probably 15 years ago. I can't wait!
We're looking forward to seeing James' family in a few weeks for the holidays... We really wanted our entire families together for Max's first Christmas and it's going to be so fun. His cousin, Crystal, and her hubby, Chris, are coming up from California to spend the whole week with us. She's like a sister to me and is Max's Godmother and this will be the first time she'll meet him. I can't wait to see her!
Looking forward to so many things in the coming months... I'm sure Max will be crawling in no time! Looking forward to more babies (not mine...) Max is really starting to show interest in other little people now, so it's going to be fun to see him with his new friends!
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season filled with love, laughter, happiness and really good food. :) I really need to work on keeping this updated more frequently... a New Year's resolution, maybe?!
Monday, August 31, 2009
5 weeks old already... going on 52...
Max is growing faster than I can keep up... at least that's how it feels sometimes!
He's starting to "talk" now... Lots of coos and gaga's! Lots of smiles and he wants to be standing all the time! I know that when he becomes mobile, I'm going to have my hands so incredibly full... I almost don't want to think about it! I am probably going to be spending my days chasing after him. He already pushes himself up to the top of his changing table... I have to really keep my eye on him or he'll bonk his head! Crazy kid...
He's officially out of his newborn clothes and we also had to adjust his carseat to the next level up... he was so squished in there! We figured this out yesterday on our way home from our first roadtrip... he was much easier to get along with after we made that change!
We decided pretty last minute on Friday that we wanted to head over the mountains. We haven't been over there all summer long and we really wanted to see some of our friends and family. That was an experience I will never forget! We have yet to upgrade to an SUV, so we had to smash all three of us, plus the dogs, and all of our bags in the car. It actually wasn't too bad... If you don't count how inconvenient it is to have to deal with the rear facing carseat. Yes, it's safer, and I'm all for that, but it really is a pain to keep an eye on the baby.
Max did great... with the exception of his ears bugging him during the trip up over the pass. Coming back down probably caused a little bit of pain. He screamed and screamed for ten minutes and all of a sudden, he stopped and fell asleep. Poor little guy. He had been changed and fed, so it had to have been the pressure on his little ears. :( I was worried about that.
The dogs did great... with the exception of Buddy puking in the backseat on the way over and then walking and laying in it. Gross. We have no idea how long he had been sitting in his own vomit, because he doesn't make any noise when he throws up. Once we came over the pass, I started smelling dog food... sure enough, he had expelled his dinner. It never fails...
We spent the first night in a hotel in Wenatchee and it was a nice little getaway. We didn't get to do much for our anniversary in July and haven't done anything since Max was born, so a night in a king bed and having someone else clean up after us was a treat! The second night we spent with James' grandparents... this was their first time meeting Max!
I can only imagine what his dreams are like right now. He met so many new people and saw so much more of the world around him! I can't even imagine what it's like for him to process all of this... No wonder he's been sleeping so well! I'm just so proud of him... he was such a trouper during this trip. Happy and content and he handled the heat really well. Something tells me he's going to be a master roadtripper, just like his mommy and daddy!
We had such a nice time away, but we're glad to be home. Now if I could just figure out how to get my baby to stop growing... it just keeps going too fast.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Growing like a weed!
Max is 3 weeks and 3 days old today! It's going by so fast... too fast. We had another postpardum appointment with the midwives a few days ago and we got him weighed... 9 1/2 pounds already! He gained 22 ounces in two weeks... right on schedule. They want to see babies his age gaining between 1-2 ounces per day... so we're right there! He's out of newborn diapers and almost too big for his newborn onesies...
I can hardly remember, or recognize, my life before he was born. Before I was pregnant, even. These last ten months have been a time of extreme change for both James and I. I am still me, but a different me. I'd like to think a better version of me. I feel like this is what I was meant to do... my life has new meaning and purpose now. All I want is to be the best mommy I can be!
Mine and James' relationship is very different now... I didn't think it was possible for me to love him anymore than I did before Max came into our life. I have fallen in love with him all over again. He's just as handsome to me as he was the first day I met him, if not more! I look at him and I see our son... I look at Max and I see his daddy. It's a beautiful thing.
James is a wonderful father and an even better husband. He's been so understanding and helpful. He grew up around babies (all of his siblings are at least ten years younger,) so he remembers what they're all about... he's been so reassuring. Sure, I've spent time around kids, but not a lot of time with newborns, so his reassurance is just what I need... sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong, so to hear from him that I'm not and that the struggles we have faced so far are just bumps in the road, both Max and I are learning how to work together. I am so blessed to have him.
Life is so much more beautiful now. The world is more beautiful now. All because of my beautiful boy... I wonder how I got so lucky?! I must be doing something right...
Here's the song I've picked out as "Max's Song." Since he's our little "Beatle," it's fitting that it's a John Lennon song. The first time I heard it, I knew it was Max's. It couldn't be more perfect.
"Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon (this version by Celine Dion)
Close your eyes, have no fear
The monster's gone, he's on the run
And your mommy's here
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait to see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
Before you cross the street, take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Darling, darling, darling
My beautiful boy
I can hardly remember, or recognize, my life before he was born. Before I was pregnant, even. These last ten months have been a time of extreme change for both James and I. I am still me, but a different me. I'd like to think a better version of me. I feel like this is what I was meant to do... my life has new meaning and purpose now. All I want is to be the best mommy I can be!
Mine and James' relationship is very different now... I didn't think it was possible for me to love him anymore than I did before Max came into our life. I have fallen in love with him all over again. He's just as handsome to me as he was the first day I met him, if not more! I look at him and I see our son... I look at Max and I see his daddy. It's a beautiful thing.
James is a wonderful father and an even better husband. He's been so understanding and helpful. He grew up around babies (all of his siblings are at least ten years younger,) so he remembers what they're all about... he's been so reassuring. Sure, I've spent time around kids, but not a lot of time with newborns, so his reassurance is just what I need... sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong, so to hear from him that I'm not and that the struggles we have faced so far are just bumps in the road, both Max and I are learning how to work together. I am so blessed to have him.
Life is so much more beautiful now. The world is more beautiful now. All because of my beautiful boy... I wonder how I got so lucky?! I must be doing something right...
Here's the song I've picked out as "Max's Song." Since he's our little "Beatle," it's fitting that it's a John Lennon song. The first time I heard it, I knew it was Max's. It couldn't be more perfect.
"Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon (this version by Celine Dion)
Close your eyes, have no fear
The monster's gone, he's on the run
And your mommy's here
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait to see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
Before you cross the street, take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Darling, darling, darling
My beautiful boy
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Our little Beatle
One week old! :) Lovin' my little man...
Us... Family of three!
Super Baby is one week old!
Daddy and his son. Loves his boy so much.
Max, 2 days old!
Us... Family of three!
Super Baby is one week old!
Daddy and his son. Loves his boy so much.
Max, 2 days old!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Max is finally here... So here's our birth story.
Our son finally vacated the womb on July 27th at 5:39pm after overstaying his eviction notice by 8 days! And we couldn't be more over the moon in love.
On the 27th, I woke up at about 1am with contractions that were lasting about 45 seconds and coming every 7-8 minutes. After an hour or so of making sure they were actually real contractions, we made a few phone calls to our moms and drifted in and out of sleep for a few more hours, knowing we'd probably need the rest! At about 5:30, we got up and started tinkering around the house... making coffee, eating breakfast, picking up around the house. James' mom got to town about 6:30 and my mom came over at about 8ish and we just hung out, enjoying each other's company. Nothing was progressing. My contractions were the same.
We were starting to wonder if maybe it was false labor. James' mom even contemplated going back to Wenatchee! Good thing she didn't.... ;) So, our mom's took off to run errands. My contractions started to get even further apart and shorter. I was getting discouraged. James drug me out of the house at about 10am for a walk... in the 85 degree heat! Still, no progress. So, when we got home, he made me a smoothie and I took a nap.
At about 1:30pm, I woke up with really strong and intense contractions. They were lasting about a minute and a half about every four minutes! I knew this was it. We called our moms to come back over and called our doula, Mary. An hour later we were still waiting for Mary and James' mom to get back and the contractions were so intense that I was already having the urge to push. James made an executive decision to pack up the cars and leave. As he was getting things ready to go, Mary showed up. She hung with me through one contraction and we got in the cars and took off.
The birthing center is about 10-15 minutes away from the house. During the drive, the contractions got even closer together... about every 2 minutes. We got into our birthing room at about 3:30 and I worked through a few contractions with James, my mom, Mary, James' mom and his Aunt Kim. Then my midwife, Heike came in to see where we were. I was dilated to 6 centimeters and during my exam, I had a contraction... and that took me to 8. I had a short break before another contraction started and my water broke with that one. One more check and guess what?! I was fully dilated to 10 centimeters. I went from 6-10 in about ten minutes, which is pretty uncommon... general rule of thumb is one hour per centimeter. Yeah, it was crazy intense.
After that, we started the pushing! James was right by my side, as was Mary. My mom was right in front of me and I honestly don't know if I could have done it without her there. She was my focal point after contractions... and it was hard to come back and focus after pushing. An hour and 40 minutes of pushing and Maxwell Dean Barnett was born at 5:39pm! He weighed 8 pounds and half an ounce and was 20 inches long. He has ten fingers and ten toes. Two ears and a bellybutton. He has his daddy's big head (yeah, that was fun for me... lol,) feet and nose. He has a ton of brown hair like his mommy, my eye shape, ears and maybe the Montemayor chin. We still don't know what color his eyes will be, but they're blue right now. He is absolutely perfect in every way.
They immediately put him up on my chest for me to hold and I can't even describe the feeling. To have him inside me for ten months and then to suddenly, in one instant, be here with us was the most euphoric and surreal feeling I've ever known. Everything else in the world faded away and it was just the three of us all crying together. He came out screaming... he was probably pleading with us to not ground him for being so late! ;)
Things didn't go exactly how I'd planned. I was planning a water birth, but because things were progressing so fast with labor, every time I had a contraction, Max's heartrate would slow down. It would immediately pick back up afterwards, but Heike wanted to be able to constantly monitor during each contraction. No tub for me. But, that's okay. I remember it being full when I got there, but I had no intentions of getting in... My mind was in another world.
I had to use oxygen because of, again, the intensity of it all... I didn't have much time in between contractions and the oxygen helped Max's heartrate stay up. After the birth, I was also bleeding a little more than they were comfortable with. They never once used the word "hemmorage" but I did have two shots of pitocin in my thighs to get my uterus to contract to control the bleeding. After everything, I was the happiest girl in the world. Even if it didn't go exactly as planned, I couldn't be any luckier or pleased with the experience. It was beautiful.
We went home after about three hours and we're all doing great. Max is such a blessing and a joy. He is my favorite person after James. I just can't imagine being any more in love with my boys. I didn't think I could love James any more than I already did, but seeing him with our son and I fall even deeper in love with him... Almost like we're falling in love all over again.
I feel like a different person. I guess I am now. Like a better version of who I was before. I just can't believe that I created this little person. That he's healthy and strong and beautiful. He gives my life new purpose and new meaning. I can't wait to teach him things and to watch him grow up. I never thought anyone would ever have steal my heart again after James, but I was wrong. I feel like I could burst with happiness. Life is good. Thank you God for this incredible gift you've given us. We are blessed!
On the 27th, I woke up at about 1am with contractions that were lasting about 45 seconds and coming every 7-8 minutes. After an hour or so of making sure they were actually real contractions, we made a few phone calls to our moms and drifted in and out of sleep for a few more hours, knowing we'd probably need the rest! At about 5:30, we got up and started tinkering around the house... making coffee, eating breakfast, picking up around the house. James' mom got to town about 6:30 and my mom came over at about 8ish and we just hung out, enjoying each other's company. Nothing was progressing. My contractions were the same.
We were starting to wonder if maybe it was false labor. James' mom even contemplated going back to Wenatchee! Good thing she didn't.... ;) So, our mom's took off to run errands. My contractions started to get even further apart and shorter. I was getting discouraged. James drug me out of the house at about 10am for a walk... in the 85 degree heat! Still, no progress. So, when we got home, he made me a smoothie and I took a nap.
At about 1:30pm, I woke up with really strong and intense contractions. They were lasting about a minute and a half about every four minutes! I knew this was it. We called our moms to come back over and called our doula, Mary. An hour later we were still waiting for Mary and James' mom to get back and the contractions were so intense that I was already having the urge to push. James made an executive decision to pack up the cars and leave. As he was getting things ready to go, Mary showed up. She hung with me through one contraction and we got in the cars and took off.
The birthing center is about 10-15 minutes away from the house. During the drive, the contractions got even closer together... about every 2 minutes. We got into our birthing room at about 3:30 and I worked through a few contractions with James, my mom, Mary, James' mom and his Aunt Kim. Then my midwife, Heike came in to see where we were. I was dilated to 6 centimeters and during my exam, I had a contraction... and that took me to 8. I had a short break before another contraction started and my water broke with that one. One more check and guess what?! I was fully dilated to 10 centimeters. I went from 6-10 in about ten minutes, which is pretty uncommon... general rule of thumb is one hour per centimeter. Yeah, it was crazy intense.
After that, we started the pushing! James was right by my side, as was Mary. My mom was right in front of me and I honestly don't know if I could have done it without her there. She was my focal point after contractions... and it was hard to come back and focus after pushing. An hour and 40 minutes of pushing and Maxwell Dean Barnett was born at 5:39pm! He weighed 8 pounds and half an ounce and was 20 inches long. He has ten fingers and ten toes. Two ears and a bellybutton. He has his daddy's big head (yeah, that was fun for me... lol,) feet and nose. He has a ton of brown hair like his mommy, my eye shape, ears and maybe the Montemayor chin. We still don't know what color his eyes will be, but they're blue right now. He is absolutely perfect in every way.
They immediately put him up on my chest for me to hold and I can't even describe the feeling. To have him inside me for ten months and then to suddenly, in one instant, be here with us was the most euphoric and surreal feeling I've ever known. Everything else in the world faded away and it was just the three of us all crying together. He came out screaming... he was probably pleading with us to not ground him for being so late! ;)
Things didn't go exactly how I'd planned. I was planning a water birth, but because things were progressing so fast with labor, every time I had a contraction, Max's heartrate would slow down. It would immediately pick back up afterwards, but Heike wanted to be able to constantly monitor during each contraction. No tub for me. But, that's okay. I remember it being full when I got there, but I had no intentions of getting in... My mind was in another world.
I had to use oxygen because of, again, the intensity of it all... I didn't have much time in between contractions and the oxygen helped Max's heartrate stay up. After the birth, I was also bleeding a little more than they were comfortable with. They never once used the word "hemmorage" but I did have two shots of pitocin in my thighs to get my uterus to contract to control the bleeding. After everything, I was the happiest girl in the world. Even if it didn't go exactly as planned, I couldn't be any luckier or pleased with the experience. It was beautiful.
We went home after about three hours and we're all doing great. Max is such a blessing and a joy. He is my favorite person after James. I just can't imagine being any more in love with my boys. I didn't think I could love James any more than I already did, but seeing him with our son and I fall even deeper in love with him... Almost like we're falling in love all over again.
I feel like a different person. I guess I am now. Like a better version of who I was before. I just can't believe that I created this little person. That he's healthy and strong and beautiful. He gives my life new purpose and new meaning. I can't wait to teach him things and to watch him grow up. I never thought anyone would ever have steal my heart again after James, but I was wrong. I feel like I could burst with happiness. Life is good. Thank you God for this incredible gift you've given us. We are blessed!
Monday, July 20, 2009
10 hours into official overtime.
Go figure!
Yesterday was my due date and no baby! I know the statistics, so I was prepared to go overdue, but I was really hoping that since both James and I were early that maybe Max would be, too! Nope. No such luck. So, we are officially 10 hours into overtime right now.
James and I both got some serious nesting done yesterday. He got the yard all cleaned up, I got the bathroom spotless (except for the tub and floors... I can't bend like that right now.) I'm almost done with all our laundry and will work on the kitchen and the rest of the house today. Not much left to do, I just have the urge to have everything perfect.
Our birth bag is packed, the birth plan is written, my labor music is downloaded and I just need to get it transferred to the iPod, food for labor is bought and ready to go, the cradle is all set up in our room, so now we're just waiting! I really hope he joins us this week! Yes, I want my body back, but I'm so incredibly ready to meet my little boy and to move forward with our new journey! I can't wait to see James holding his son. To explore his little face and tiny fingers and toes. To hug him and smell him and love him. I can't wait to be his mommy!
We don't even know what we're in for, but I'm ready for the unknown. I do know that this is going to be the hardest adventure we've ever embarked on and it will be the most trying and rewarding job we've ever had. Like my dad said yesterday, the hardest job you will ever do is raise your kids to be respectful of others and to not hate you. ;)
So, I go in to see my midwife tomorrow and we might have her strip my membranes. Hopefully this isn't too much information, but what it is is basically a pelvic exam where she will use her fingers to separate the bag of water from the cervix, essentially causing prostaglandins to be released. We'll probably give that a shot. I was going to take castor oil yesterday, but my midwife advised against it. She said that it might just make me uncomfortable and not help bring labor on... and then labor could slow and I might need to be transferred to the hospital. So, we won't be doing that. I'm going to work with some acupressure today and see if that might help.
That's where we are. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to focus too much on being overdue. I don't want to force my body to do something that it's not ready to do yet, so I'm trying to be patient! I think James is more ready for him to be here than I am... which blows me away! I think maybe he just wants that week off of work.... lol! We just can't wait much longer! We want to meet our little prince!
And I know he'll never read this, but I do just want to thank James for being there every step of the way. He's been so incredibly understanding and forgiving... I haven't exactly been the easiest person to deal with at times. But, he continues to love me and prove to me how important I am to him. I am so blessed to have him as my husband and the father of my child. If I went back 4 years, I would do this all over again... not a doubt in my mind. So, James, if you do ever read this, know that I love you so much. You are my rock. My best friend. My world. My everything. I would be lost without you and am so glad you chose me. We might slip and fall, but we definitely have it all! I will love you forever.
Yesterday was my due date and no baby! I know the statistics, so I was prepared to go overdue, but I was really hoping that since both James and I were early that maybe Max would be, too! Nope. No such luck. So, we are officially 10 hours into overtime right now.
James and I both got some serious nesting done yesterday. He got the yard all cleaned up, I got the bathroom spotless (except for the tub and floors... I can't bend like that right now.) I'm almost done with all our laundry and will work on the kitchen and the rest of the house today. Not much left to do, I just have the urge to have everything perfect.
Our birth bag is packed, the birth plan is written, my labor music is downloaded and I just need to get it transferred to the iPod, food for labor is bought and ready to go, the cradle is all set up in our room, so now we're just waiting! I really hope he joins us this week! Yes, I want my body back, but I'm so incredibly ready to meet my little boy and to move forward with our new journey! I can't wait to see James holding his son. To explore his little face and tiny fingers and toes. To hug him and smell him and love him. I can't wait to be his mommy!
We don't even know what we're in for, but I'm ready for the unknown. I do know that this is going to be the hardest adventure we've ever embarked on and it will be the most trying and rewarding job we've ever had. Like my dad said yesterday, the hardest job you will ever do is raise your kids to be respectful of others and to not hate you. ;)
So, I go in to see my midwife tomorrow and we might have her strip my membranes. Hopefully this isn't too much information, but what it is is basically a pelvic exam where she will use her fingers to separate the bag of water from the cervix, essentially causing prostaglandins to be released. We'll probably give that a shot. I was going to take castor oil yesterday, but my midwife advised against it. She said that it might just make me uncomfortable and not help bring labor on... and then labor could slow and I might need to be transferred to the hospital. So, we won't be doing that. I'm going to work with some acupressure today and see if that might help.
That's where we are. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to focus too much on being overdue. I don't want to force my body to do something that it's not ready to do yet, so I'm trying to be patient! I think James is more ready for him to be here than I am... which blows me away! I think maybe he just wants that week off of work.... lol! We just can't wait much longer! We want to meet our little prince!
And I know he'll never read this, but I do just want to thank James for being there every step of the way. He's been so incredibly understanding and forgiving... I haven't exactly been the easiest person to deal with at times. But, he continues to love me and prove to me how important I am to him. I am so blessed to have him as my husband and the father of my child. If I went back 4 years, I would do this all over again... not a doubt in my mind. So, James, if you do ever read this, know that I love you so much. You are my rock. My best friend. My world. My everything. I would be lost without you and am so glad you chose me. We might slip and fall, but we definitely have it all! I will love you forever.
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